Recent reports suggest that breakdancing, sport climbing and surfing all may very well be contested during the Paris 2024 Olympic Games. This, seemingly, continues a trend.
Every two years, a new Olympics, whether it be of the winter or summer variety, arrives with new events and challenges for athletes. Some of those events tend to be bizarre and make us question if the people participating in them are even athletes at all.
In that spirit, non-athletes from Enterprise Media Group — Assistant Editor Teresa Hoffman and Sports Editor Grant Egger — are trying to decide what Olympic event would fit them best, but they can't decide. So, they're having each other decide. Who has the best case for what their co-worker should compete in?
Egger: Teresa should pick a detail-oriented sport
As many of you who read this weekly Enterprise feature know, I take Point-Counterpoint very seriously. I've never made a joke and I've never used sarcasm to win these written arguments.
Teresa, on the other hand, is probably going to go low. She'll use any tactic and likely tease my lack of athletic ability, inserting me smack dab in the middle of sport that will make me look ridiculous.
Quite frankly, Ms. Hoffman is only in it for the laughs and to make me look silly.
That said — and since I'm a professional — I think the Arlington Citizen editor should compete in an Olympic event that best uses the skills she already has. That, of course, opens up a lot of interesting options for Teresa.
If I were to pick a Summer Games sport for her, I'd select archery. While the bow itself may be foreign to her, Teresa's steady hand in reporting the news should serve her well. Having dealt with newspaper deadlines for several years, she'd also be cool under pressure with the winning shot in her grasp.
Teresa's writing is detail-heavy and she rarely misses anything, which makes me think she could easily clean up any flaws in her archery game as the Olympics draw nearer.
Now, if I were to pick a winter sport for Teresa, I'd select curling. Again, every detail counts in this sport, which means my co-worker becomes a fast star in this ever-growing winter sport.
Plus, there is a whole new source of new vocabulary to learn in curling. It'd have to be fun for a dedicated writer to figure out what a biter, a bonspeil, a hogged stone and a pebble are.
So, I took this assignment seriously. I found two sports for Teresa Hoffman to participate in at the Olympic Games.
I can't wait to roll my eyes as I read what goofy reasons she has for making me compete in table tennis, the luge or handball.
Hoffman: 'Goofy-foot' Grant perfect participant for skateboarding's Olympic debut
Grant better get practicing as the Olympic sport I've chosen for him starts with the 2020 games in Tokyo.
So, Grant, it's time to grab your helmet, knee and elbow pads and anything else you need to protect yourself and hit the skate park in Blair, where you can practice your boardslide, caballerial, carve, crooked grind and not be worried that you are a goofy-foot — a skater who more comfortably rides with his right food leading.
I think seeing the word goofy-foot associated with skateboarding sealed the deal in choosing which sport I'd like Grant compete in.
Anyone who has watched our recent fireworks video knows Grant can be a little goofy, a trait that I love because, frankly, I can be a bit serious most of the time and it's nice to have someone around who can make us all laugh.
So, "going for the gold" and realizing his dream of being an Olympic star in skateboarding, in my opinion, is perfect for Grant.
In making the decision to the add skateboarding and other sports in 2020, the Tokyo Games President Yoshiro Mori said organizers wanted to give young athletes "the chance of a lifetime to realize their dreams of competing in the Olympic Games – the world's greatest sporting stage – and inspire them to achieve their best, both in sport and in life."
Grant may not think he's young, but he is and I'm sure he can show all those other young pups in the skateboarding world a thing or two — like how to fall with grace, the art of screaming while performing tricks on the half-pipe and that Mountain Dew is a better post-run drink that those silly sports drinks or water.
I bet he'll even perfect the art of the Speed wobble — a certain speed the skateboard can become unstable, showing an oscillatory behavior that can lead to loss of control.
I hope that my clever use of some of the skateboarding terms I found on Wikipedia has convinced Grant to give skateboard "the old college try" and when he's up on that medal stand, that he doesn't forget his old pal Teresa at the Enterprise. I want the exclusive interview.
Happy nose sliding and Mongo pushing, Grant. Go make America proud.